I was struck by this section of my morning reading from the book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero. Here he quotes Anthony De Mello in The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony De Mello.
“Love springs from awareness. It is only inasmuch as you see someone as he or she really is here and now and not as they are in your memory or your desire or in your imagination or projection that you can truly love them; otherwise it is not the person you love but the idea that you have formed of this person.”
“Therefore the first act of love is to see this person or this object, this reality as it truly is. And this involves the enormous discipline of dropping your desires, your prejudices, your memories, your projections, your selective way of looking.. So the first ingredient to love is to really see the other.”
I’ve always thought of it as a desireable characteristic to see only the best in others. I sought to think and believe the best of everyone – then I’d be jarred by the inevitable discovery of flaws, which would seem to mar everything. Rather than loving the potential in someone, I’d rather learn to truly love the someone, whether or not they have, will or never will reach it. It is when I feel fully loved for who and where I am that I feel free to become more.
De Mello goes on to say, “The second ingredient is equally important to see yourself, to ruthlessly flash the light of awareness on your motives, emotions, your needs, your dishonesty, your self-seeking, and your tendency to control and manipulate.”
This convicts me about how easy it is to turn those closest to me into projects, and to get so caught up in my desires for, needs or plans to change my children or my husband that I miss accepting and appreciating them for what and where they are.
The gift of both seeing and loving comes directly from God. God is not deluded when He looks at us. He sees all that we are and all that we are not, and He loves us completely. I think of the rich young ruler who turned away from what he considered to be too great a sacrifice. One of my favorite quotes from the Bible, is “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” He did so, knowing what he was, and what he would choose.
God, help me to see, and to love, people as you do, including myself.
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Friday, February 24, 2012
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Learning from a Monk
I have found guidance for my pursuit of balance and a sustainable life with Christ from an unexpected source: The Way of St. Benedict. While perusing my sister-in-law’s well-stocked shelves, I picked up, Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict, written for today’s reader by Esther de Waal. I had previously viewed the lifestyle and teachings of monks as irrelevant to the abundant Christian life I am pursuing: full of needless austerity, extreme isolation and archaic teaching.
But through this book, I am finding beautiful practices for spiritual growth and a wholistic way of viewing the self, which doesn’t falsely dichotomize the soul, spirit and body but sees them as integral parts of the whole, worthy of tenderness and care.
The purpose of St. Benedict’s rule of life “is to create a favorable environment in which the balanced life my flourish.” Its three interrelated vows are to stability, fidelity of monastic life and to obedience. “They are not, as they might seem at first glance, about negation, restriction and limitation. They involve us in the need to face a number of very basic demands: the need not to run away, the need to be open to change, the need to listen. They are based on a commitment which is both total and continuing. And yet the paradox is that they bring freedom, true freedom" (deWaal 55).
One of the practices we explored at the Renewal retreat I attended was developing a Rule of Life. The purpose of exploring and ordering the aspects of rest, work, relationships and spiritual wellness were to enable a person to develop a life rhythm which would enable both the receiving of God’s love and the giving of it. I am still in the process of developing my rule of life, and am in anticipation about what else I may glean from the Way of St. Benedict in the process.
But through this book, I am finding beautiful practices for spiritual growth and a wholistic way of viewing the self, which doesn’t falsely dichotomize the soul, spirit and body but sees them as integral parts of the whole, worthy of tenderness and care.
The purpose of St. Benedict’s rule of life “is to create a favorable environment in which the balanced life my flourish.” Its three interrelated vows are to stability, fidelity of monastic life and to obedience. “They are not, as they might seem at first glance, about negation, restriction and limitation. They involve us in the need to face a number of very basic demands: the need not to run away, the need to be open to change, the need to listen. They are based on a commitment which is both total and continuing. And yet the paradox is that they bring freedom, true freedom" (deWaal 55).
One of the practices we explored at the Renewal retreat I attended was developing a Rule of Life. The purpose of exploring and ordering the aspects of rest, work, relationships and spiritual wellness were to enable a person to develop a life rhythm which would enable both the receiving of God’s love and the giving of it. I am still in the process of developing my rule of life, and am in anticipation about what else I may glean from the Way of St. Benedict in the process.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
3 am
It's 3 am, and I am migraine-free, but also wide-awake, thanks to Excedrin Migraine. Great time for pondering, though.
While in the "reading room," I came across today's devotional in My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. He paraphrases Luke 10:20 as Christ saying, "Don't rejoice in your successful service for Me, but rejoice because of your right relationship with Me." He calls rejoicing in successful service, in the fact that God has used you, a trap. As I focus on keeping my relationship strong with Him, rather than on the success of my service to Him, He will continue to pour "rivers of living water" through me, regardless of my circumstances, or what I encounter each day.
"It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for HIm." Regardless of what I am DOING for Him, my personal relationship with God is to be top priority.
While in the "reading room," I came across today's devotional in My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. He paraphrases Luke 10:20 as Christ saying, "Don't rejoice in your successful service for Me, but rejoice because of your right relationship with Me." He calls rejoicing in successful service, in the fact that God has used you, a trap. As I focus on keeping my relationship strong with Him, rather than on the success of my service to Him, He will continue to pour "rivers of living water" through me, regardless of my circumstances, or what I encounter each day.
"It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for HIm." Regardless of what I am DOING for Him, my personal relationship with God is to be top priority.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Random Theology
Debra Lynn had some weighty conversational topics for our mother daughter afternoon of shopping and sushi.
"Will Adam and Eve be in heaven?" she asked me, over her teriyaki steak. "They knew God, and taught their children about Him, but they died beford Jesus came." I let her talk through it while I tried to formulate some sort of response.
"I remember!"she then said. "Daddy told me they get to go to Moses' gizzard."
I almost spewed my mouthful of crunchy roll across the table.
"What?!" she had to know.
"I think you mean, Abraham's Bosom." I said.
She looked amused and suddenly self-conscious should my laughter draw looks from the hibachi customers.
After that, I couldn't shake the giggles long enough to unpack the issue further.
I'm sure we'll revisit it again. I'm glad she doesn't shy away from big questions.
"Will Adam and Eve be in heaven?" she asked me, over her teriyaki steak. "They knew God, and taught their children about Him, but they died beford Jesus came." I let her talk through it while I tried to formulate some sort of response.
"I remember!"she then said. "Daddy told me they get to go to Moses' gizzard."
I almost spewed my mouthful of crunchy roll across the table.
"What?!" she had to know.
"I think you mean, Abraham's Bosom." I said.
She looked amused and suddenly self-conscious should my laughter draw looks from the hibachi customers.
After that, I couldn't shake the giggles long enough to unpack the issue further.
I'm sure we'll revisit it again. I'm glad she doesn't shy away from big questions.
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Miraculous
We often face situations in life in which we request God to do a miracle. Indeed, in which it seems that the very existence of God hinges on His willingness to perform one. Heal this woman of ALS. Remove the Rheumatoid Arthritis completely from my friend’s body. Stop the young addict's downward spiral, deliver him from addicion, and restore him to his mother.
Sometimes God’s response to our fervent requests seems more like a non-response. The disease escalates. The son gets caught in his addiction and is incarcerated with fearsome criminals. The woman’s arthritis deforms her joints, and riddles her body with pain. And then we feel sheepish for actually believing that God would perform our miracle, and a sense of the futility of faith settles in. We follow up any requests with, “Thy will be done,”, or “Be glorified through this.” more as an escape clause, than a fervent prayer. It seems a safer way of framing the requests should the “miracle” I’m seeking not appear.
A mother daily prays for a sibling for her child. Being in her 40’s has only intensified her desire to give birth to another. Everywhere she looks, she sees others’ burgeoning families and gets reminded of the life she thought would be hers. She wonders why God would embed such a desire within her, and leave it unfulfilled. Yet, she clings tenaciously to God for the grace to ride each swell of longing, and finds much to celebrate in daily moments.
A young woman who loves to hike, rock climb, play the piano, and take on daily adventures, has a body which is increasingly bound by the limits of her rheumatoid arthritis. She watches moms wave as they dash by pushing their jogging strollers, and remembers that used to be her. She watches her husband and son hike their sons’ first peak together, and longs to trek with them. She daily calls out to God for the grace to cope with the pain, and joyfully pours her life and service into her husband, her little ones, her students, the youth she disciples – and stores up insights for the books she will one day write.
A mother daily prays for her incarcerated son. She prays knowing that God is present in that cell with him, and resists being sucked under by despair.
When I see the testimony of individuals surrendering their difficult circumstances to God, and somehow living with contentment and hope, I witness the miraculous. Contentment in desireable circumstances would be believable and completely human. But what about contentment and peace when there is neither earthly evidence nor reason for it? It is clearly Divine.
Jim Berg defines godliness with contentment as: “ that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.” Contentment is not apathy, nor passive resignation. It doesn’t gloss over inner trauma, deny deep longing, or polish reality beyond recognition. Nor does it pretend that the battle for relinquishment and peace has been won once and for all. It is tenacious, clinging to the biblical view of God’s absolute sufficiency in whatever we may face. It fully embraces God while being fully engaged in life, as is. And such contentment is most miraculous when the circumstances scream to the contrary.
Yes, God does perform the miraculous. Sometimes in the ways we most easily recognize it. Yet, more often, the miraculous shows up in unexpected ways. The healing of the woman’s body, would be a once and for all act of God. But God’s impartation of his peace and Presence, thus allowing the sufferer joy and contentment amidst pain and disappointment, is a miracle of daily occurrence.
The greater miracles this side of heaven may not be the averted disasters, or the breath-taking and timely solutions. The most exceptional occurrences are ordinary people in heart-rending circumstances, living in true inner contentment, peace and joy. Ordinary people emerging from each day with purpose, and renewed hope, as partakers of grace.
Sometimes God’s response to our fervent requests seems more like a non-response. The disease escalates. The son gets caught in his addiction and is incarcerated with fearsome criminals. The woman’s arthritis deforms her joints, and riddles her body with pain. And then we feel sheepish for actually believing that God would perform our miracle, and a sense of the futility of faith settles in. We follow up any requests with, “Thy will be done,”, or “Be glorified through this.” more as an escape clause, than a fervent prayer. It seems a safer way of framing the requests should the “miracle” I’m seeking not appear.
A mother daily prays for a sibling for her child. Being in her 40’s has only intensified her desire to give birth to another. Everywhere she looks, she sees others’ burgeoning families and gets reminded of the life she thought would be hers. She wonders why God would embed such a desire within her, and leave it unfulfilled. Yet, she clings tenaciously to God for the grace to ride each swell of longing, and finds much to celebrate in daily moments.
A young woman who loves to hike, rock climb, play the piano, and take on daily adventures, has a body which is increasingly bound by the limits of her rheumatoid arthritis. She watches moms wave as they dash by pushing their jogging strollers, and remembers that used to be her. She watches her husband and son hike their sons’ first peak together, and longs to trek with them. She daily calls out to God for the grace to cope with the pain, and joyfully pours her life and service into her husband, her little ones, her students, the youth she disciples – and stores up insights for the books she will one day write.
A mother daily prays for her incarcerated son. She prays knowing that God is present in that cell with him, and resists being sucked under by despair.
When I see the testimony of individuals surrendering their difficult circumstances to God, and somehow living with contentment and hope, I witness the miraculous. Contentment in desireable circumstances would be believable and completely human. But what about contentment and peace when there is neither earthly evidence nor reason for it? It is clearly Divine.
Jim Berg defines godliness with contentment as: “ that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.” Contentment is not apathy, nor passive resignation. It doesn’t gloss over inner trauma, deny deep longing, or polish reality beyond recognition. Nor does it pretend that the battle for relinquishment and peace has been won once and for all. It is tenacious, clinging to the biblical view of God’s absolute sufficiency in whatever we may face. It fully embraces God while being fully engaged in life, as is. And such contentment is most miraculous when the circumstances scream to the contrary.
Yes, God does perform the miraculous. Sometimes in the ways we most easily recognize it. Yet, more often, the miraculous shows up in unexpected ways. The healing of the woman’s body, would be a once and for all act of God. But God’s impartation of his peace and Presence, thus allowing the sufferer joy and contentment amidst pain and disappointment, is a miracle of daily occurrence.
The greater miracles this side of heaven may not be the averted disasters, or the breath-taking and timely solutions. The most exceptional occurrences are ordinary people in heart-rending circumstances, living in true inner contentment, peace and joy. Ordinary people emerging from each day with purpose, and renewed hope, as partakers of grace.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Law of Kindness
I attended a simulcast of a women’s conference titled Living Proof Live, featuring Bible teacher Beth Moore, and was both challenged and encouraged. I thought I’d recap the main points of her message here.
The theme verse for the day was Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” She made the case that we live in a mean world, and that we have a responsibility to use our voice to bring warmth, and kindness.
I will list below, what she called the 8 Tastes of Biblical Kindess.
1. Kindness is not weakness.
It is not about being a “nice” woman, ignorant of the world around us. Kindness requires divine empowerment and is perfectly capable of speaking a hard word. Prov 11:16 says that a kind-hearted woman gains respect.
2. Kindness is not an action, it’s a disposition.
True kindness cannot be faked, as it comes from the heart. If only from the mouth, it would be empty flattery. To be kind is to be profitable, fit, good for any use, useful towards others, and good-natured. Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, (and fussiness and irritability are not).
3. Kindness wears down when we do.
Trials begin to wear us down, and resentment, bitterness, jealousy set in. When we are worn down and feeling overburdened, we are called to come to the One whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light or “kind.” When I am under pressure, I can ask God to show me what part of the yoke I am under is not from Him. When I am worn down, I need to be built-up in the Spirit. I will be edified by heart-to-heart contact with other believers I am free to be transparent with.
4. Kindness looks pain in the face.
I appreciate the grit of this one. Living out the law of kindness does not mean pretending that life this side of heaven is all “hunky dorey” (I’ve never tried to spell that expression before). It takes courage to look fully in the face of one who is suffering and be present with them. Job pleaded with his companions “be so kind now, as to look at me. Listen, don’t look away.” (Job 6:28). This kind of kindness will not require words, but offer presence.
5. Kindness is a Savior
Kindness took on flesh in Jesus Christ. Kindness in our human vessel cannot save: our job is only to point others to Him. When I find myself seeking to become anyone’s everything, I am seeking to be a false Christ.
6.Kindess has good memory.
It eagerly recounts the mighty works of God on my behalf, and celebrates them. It is expectant and hopeful concerning the future.
7. Kindness craves an outlet.
8. Kindness leaves a legacy.
To me, Beth Moore is a full-color example of a woman who is fully herself, while being fully in Christ. She has a childlike exuberance, abundant energy, passion for women to know Jesus, and does it all with a Texan twang. She is both refreshing and exhausting to listen to. She is courageous and outrageous, yet humble.
My prayer is that I would learn to open my mouth with wisdom, and that the law of kindness would be continually on my tongue.
The theme verse for the day was Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” She made the case that we live in a mean world, and that we have a responsibility to use our voice to bring warmth, and kindness.
I will list below, what she called the 8 Tastes of Biblical Kindess.
1. Kindness is not weakness.
It is not about being a “nice” woman, ignorant of the world around us. Kindness requires divine empowerment and is perfectly capable of speaking a hard word. Prov 11:16 says that a kind-hearted woman gains respect.
2. Kindness is not an action, it’s a disposition.
True kindness cannot be faked, as it comes from the heart. If only from the mouth, it would be empty flattery. To be kind is to be profitable, fit, good for any use, useful towards others, and good-natured. Kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, (and fussiness and irritability are not).
3. Kindness wears down when we do.
Trials begin to wear us down, and resentment, bitterness, jealousy set in. When we are worn down and feeling overburdened, we are called to come to the One whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light or “kind.” When I am under pressure, I can ask God to show me what part of the yoke I am under is not from Him. When I am worn down, I need to be built-up in the Spirit. I will be edified by heart-to-heart contact with other believers I am free to be transparent with.
4. Kindness looks pain in the face.
I appreciate the grit of this one. Living out the law of kindness does not mean pretending that life this side of heaven is all “hunky dorey” (I’ve never tried to spell that expression before). It takes courage to look fully in the face of one who is suffering and be present with them. Job pleaded with his companions “be so kind now, as to look at me. Listen, don’t look away.” (Job 6:28). This kind of kindness will not require words, but offer presence.
5. Kindness is a Savior
Kindness took on flesh in Jesus Christ. Kindness in our human vessel cannot save: our job is only to point others to Him. When I find myself seeking to become anyone’s everything, I am seeking to be a false Christ.
6.Kindess has good memory.
It eagerly recounts the mighty works of God on my behalf, and celebrates them. It is expectant and hopeful concerning the future.
7. Kindness craves an outlet.
8. Kindness leaves a legacy.
To me, Beth Moore is a full-color example of a woman who is fully herself, while being fully in Christ. She has a childlike exuberance, abundant energy, passion for women to know Jesus, and does it all with a Texan twang. She is both refreshing and exhausting to listen to. She is courageous and outrageous, yet humble.
My prayer is that I would learn to open my mouth with wisdom, and that the law of kindness would be continually on my tongue.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Whatever
I am beginning to understand that God is a lot less concerned in WHAT I do, and more invested in HOW I do it. I spend time poring over the specifics of scenario after scenario with Him; Is this the right path Lord? Is this the right school? Is this the right decision about this job? Is this the position I should take on? Embedded within each question is the fear that “And if it isn’t, what then?” Rather than reflecting so much on the "what" I am doing, I'd like to shift my focus to the "for whom."
“Whatever you do, work at it with your whole-heart, as if serving the Lord and not men.” Colossians 3:23. Whatever. I find this instruction both challenging and liberating. God is not as “hung up” as I am on the specific assignments. Indeed, He can and will use all of it for His purposes and His glory. What blesses His heart is for me to do each thing, no matter how small, whole-heartedly, as an offering to Him. This infuses the most mundane and repetitive tasks with purpose and even the possibility of joy.
“Whatever you do, work at it with your whole-heart, as if serving the Lord and not men.” Colossians 3:23. Whatever. I find this instruction both challenging and liberating. God is not as “hung up” as I am on the specific assignments. Indeed, He can and will use all of it for His purposes and His glory. What blesses His heart is for me to do each thing, no matter how small, whole-heartedly, as an offering to Him. This infuses the most mundane and repetitive tasks with purpose and even the possibility of joy.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Thus Saith the Lord
Speaking on behalf of God is a serious thing, prone to abuses. Yet to shut out the possibility of it all together, is to miss out on a tremendous blessing. As Beth Moore says, "Our repulsion over the abuses should not be our out for practicing present participle faith"
I have experienced the blessing of others speaking a blessing and a "word" over my life, which proved to be Scriptural and life-giving. I have also been part of a community during the disillusionment and pain of an apparently unfulfilled prophecy.
The only way to attempt to be a mouthpiece for God, is to acknowledge the fact that one's own voice is also at play. One's own compulsion to control or relieve one's own inner anxiety could just as easily be at play in delivering a word for someone from on High. As long as we are aware of, and dealing with our issues, we should remain engaged in seeking to hear directly from God and being willing to humbly and lovingly speak to others on His behalf.
I have experienced the blessing of others speaking a blessing and a "word" over my life, which proved to be Scriptural and life-giving. I have also been part of a community during the disillusionment and pain of an apparently unfulfilled prophecy.
The only way to attempt to be a mouthpiece for God, is to acknowledge the fact that one's own voice is also at play. One's own compulsion to control or relieve one's own inner anxiety could just as easily be at play in delivering a word for someone from on High. As long as we are aware of, and dealing with our issues, we should remain engaged in seeking to hear directly from God and being willing to humbly and lovingly speak to others on His behalf.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Care and Share Night
We had a women's gathering at our church tonight where one woman shared lessons God had taught her, and we talked and prayed together. One woman asked for prayer for her husband to become a Christian. She realized that her efforts and zeal for him to know Christ were driving him away, and purposed to talk more to God about her husband, than to her husband about God.
Her approach struck me and I wondered about its effectiveness in a variety of relationships. Sometimes talk is just that, but prayer brings transformation - both to the prayer and the recipient. We do need to remain open to what the transformation that God brings will entail.
Her approach struck me and I wondered about its effectiveness in a variety of relationships. Sometimes talk is just that, but prayer brings transformation - both to the prayer and the recipient. We do need to remain open to what the transformation that God brings will entail.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Resting Place
I was praying through some of the attributes of God this morning, and "He is my Resting Place", spoke volumes to me. Jeremiah 50:6 says, "My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place."
I often find myself wandering wearily over the hills of legalism and performance-based identity, forgetting the resting place already made for me in the palm of God. Since reading Quieting a Noisy Soul, my mantra has been "My soul can rest, because God Himself is more than enough for me."
I often find myself wandering wearily over the hills of legalism and performance-based identity, forgetting the resting place already made for me in the palm of God. Since reading Quieting a Noisy Soul, my mantra has been "My soul can rest, because God Himself is more than enough for me."
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Satisfy
"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:14
Satisfy. With what? With favorable circumstances? With life's cooperation with my personal plans and aspirations? How is it possible to sing for joy and be glad all our days?
Your unfailing love, O God, must be truly amazing. I confess, I don't see the direct link between your unfailing love and joy and gladness all my days. I still feel these are tied to my circumstances and that once I "get it right," joy and gladness will be forthcoming. Thank you that these promises are not contingent upon me getting anything right, but on Your unalterable love. Satisfy me.
Satisfy. With what? With favorable circumstances? With life's cooperation with my personal plans and aspirations? How is it possible to sing for joy and be glad all our days?
Your unfailing love, O God, must be truly amazing. I confess, I don't see the direct link between your unfailing love and joy and gladness all my days. I still feel these are tied to my circumstances and that once I "get it right," joy and gladness will be forthcoming. Thank you that these promises are not contingent upon me getting anything right, but on Your unalterable love. Satisfy me.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Behind and Before
You hem me in, behind and before. You have laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me. Too lofty for me to attain. Psalm 139:5-6
I don't know about you, but I am one person in need of being hemmed in. I lose sight of the limits of my responsibility and ability. Suddenly the world is MY fix-it project, and the most basic tasks at my doorstep lie undone. I find the concept of being hemmed in a relief not a hinderance. That would mean I would have clarity as to the realm I am to focus my energies upon, the plot of land which I am to cultivate, and the yards of others which would be best for me to stay out of.
My friend Debbie was given an image of her life as a garden. God he had given her a plot of land with a quaint fence and gate. She was to focus on tending the treasures therein, and would be given discernment concerning who and what to open her gate to, lest her seedlings be trampled, and rich soil scattered about.
So hem me in, Dear Lord. Show me the limits of my responsibility. Help me to be good stewards of all that is entrusted to me, and entrust others and their pain, I'd so love to fix, to you. There is One Redeemer. And it is not, nor ever will it be, me.
I don't know about you, but I am one person in need of being hemmed in. I lose sight of the limits of my responsibility and ability. Suddenly the world is MY fix-it project, and the most basic tasks at my doorstep lie undone. I find the concept of being hemmed in a relief not a hinderance. That would mean I would have clarity as to the realm I am to focus my energies upon, the plot of land which I am to cultivate, and the yards of others which would be best for me to stay out of.
My friend Debbie was given an image of her life as a garden. God he had given her a plot of land with a quaint fence and gate. She was to focus on tending the treasures therein, and would be given discernment concerning who and what to open her gate to, lest her seedlings be trampled, and rich soil scattered about.
So hem me in, Dear Lord. Show me the limits of my responsibility. Help me to be good stewards of all that is entrusted to me, and entrust others and their pain, I'd so love to fix, to you. There is One Redeemer. And it is not, nor ever will it be, me.
Not What but Who
I sometimes overly analyze options and decisions, feeling like everything hinges on what I do, or don't do. As I take in the greatness of God and His ability to use any yielded scenario for His good purposes, I'm becoming convinced that it's not so much What I do, but Who I'm doing it for.
Less of which path I choose, and more of Who inhabits me while on that path.
It's His Presence. Not my performance. Again, a vast relief.
Less of which path I choose, and more of Who inhabits me while on that path.
It's His Presence. Not my performance. Again, a vast relief.
Certainties
Meditating on uncertainties is the source of my anxiety. Life has an infinite supply of uncertainties, and always will, this side of heaven. So if I make my soul's rest and peace of mind contingent on things being as they ought, it will continually escape me.
My soul can rest because God Himself is more than enough for me. There is great solace in that truth.
So on my morning walk, I decided to meditate on certainties instead. God is able to make all grace abound to me. In all things. At all times. Having all that I need to abound in every good thing. Nothing can separate Timothy, Benjamin and Debra Lynn from the love of Christ. In our weakness He is strong. And when I feel that I can't meditate, I remember Jim Berg's counsel that worriers are masters at meditation. (And I"m in the league of worriers, but ever-eager to resign) We turn a scenario upside down and sideways and look into every conceivable possibility and what that would mean for our lives. The challenge then is simply to switch the content of my meditation. Off of the uncertainties, and onto certainties.
Interesting how the certainties often center on Who God is. Nothing we encounter in life will change that. And my soul can rest regardless. What a comfort.
My soul can rest because God Himself is more than enough for me. There is great solace in that truth.
So on my morning walk, I decided to meditate on certainties instead. God is able to make all grace abound to me. In all things. At all times. Having all that I need to abound in every good thing. Nothing can separate Timothy, Benjamin and Debra Lynn from the love of Christ. In our weakness He is strong. And when I feel that I can't meditate, I remember Jim Berg's counsel that worriers are masters at meditation. (And I"m in the league of worriers, but ever-eager to resign) We turn a scenario upside down and sideways and look into every conceivable possibility and what that would mean for our lives. The challenge then is simply to switch the content of my meditation. Off of the uncertainties, and onto certainties.
Interesting how the certainties often center on Who God is. Nothing we encounter in life will change that. And my soul can rest regardless. What a comfort.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Worrying Online
Sometimes I find myself approaching prayer as an opportunity to "worry online." This concept was pointed out to me by Jim Berg, in his study series titled "Quieting a Noisy Soul: Overcoming Guilt, Anxiety, Anger, and Despair". It's as if I enter the front door, dump the jumble of paraphernalia in my arms onto the entry way table, and flop in a heap on the sofa. Here are my jumble of thoughts and worries, Lord, and this is why they are so troublesome to me. What about.., and what if.. and I'm worried that.. and I feel like... There is certainly a role for this type of prayer, especially when I am able to use it as a starting place. In fact, it is a powerful and authentic place to start. But at times, I park it there, and ruminate over the jumble of needs and fears and uncertainties I'm carrying, and treat God as a bystander with nothing real to contribute to my dilema. As if He were just a warm body standing by. I emerge from this time of prayer, much the way I entered it: distracted, burdened down, and fixated on a myriad of possible outcomes.
Instead, I want to come to God with the realization that He is "more than enough". I long to remember the assurance that He knows and loves me personally, that He will wisely do what is best, and that He stands ready to give me, and the ones I love, "grace to help in time of need."
Renew my mind, dear Lord. You take center-stage, and enable me to see what I am facing in the light of Who You are and What You can do. I can then emerge from a time of prayer with the peace that God in HIs love, sovereignty, and wisdom will do what is best.
Instead, I want to come to God with the realization that He is "more than enough". I long to remember the assurance that He knows and loves me personally, that He will wisely do what is best, and that He stands ready to give me, and the ones I love, "grace to help in time of need."
Renew my mind, dear Lord. You take center-stage, and enable me to see what I am facing in the light of Who You are and What You can do. I can then emerge from a time of prayer with the peace that God in HIs love, sovereignty, and wisdom will do what is best.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
What makes a testimony?
Testimony Envy. Sounds crazy, but that's what I've experienced upon hearing a dynamic account of a believer's miraculous transformation from gutter material into faithful disciple.
My own husband has a powerful story about God delivering him from addictions and self-destruction, and setting him in the pastoral ministry. I've always been inwardly drawn to such a story, wishing mine was as profound
I prayed to receive Christ with my mother after a Christian puppet demonstration at our church when I was four years old. I grew steadily, sang in church from an early age, went through high school lonely but unscathed, and chose a Bible college, Christian husband and am now a pastor's wife in a cajun town in South Louisiana. Who am I to judge what is and isn't a REAL testimony. All that is , is because of YOU. And all that You do, is profound.
My own husband has a powerful story about God delivering him from addictions and self-destruction, and setting him in the pastoral ministry. I've always been inwardly drawn to such a story, wishing mine was as profound
I prayed to receive Christ with my mother after a Christian puppet demonstration at our church when I was four years old. I grew steadily, sang in church from an early age, went through high school lonely but unscathed, and chose a Bible college, Christian husband and am now a pastor's wife in a cajun town in South Louisiana. Who am I to judge what is and isn't a REAL testimony. All that is , is because of YOU. And all that You do, is profound.
Survivor Guilt
During Hurricane Katrina, certain neighborhoods in New Orleans were struck in a way which left several houses on a street leveled, and some unscathed. Those home owners whose homes survived the devastation have experienced what could be called, "survivor guilt" as they view the demise around them and wonder how it was that they were spared.
Someday, I'm sure I'll look back and wonder why I was in a hurry to sign up for trials, having seen that there would be plenty on the way.
Help me to trust You, God, as You craft all of our stories. I will trust you to give those that I love exactly what they need to navigate their pain. And I will trust You as well, to use me as You see fit, whether or not I think I can "relate." You write my story, Lord. Forgive me for trying to be the editor-in-chief. You have in store the perfect ending.
Someday, I'm sure I'll look back and wonder why I was in a hurry to sign up for trials, having seen that there would be plenty on the way.
Help me to trust You, God, as You craft all of our stories. I will trust you to give those that I love exactly what they need to navigate their pain. And I will trust You as well, to use me as You see fit, whether or not I think I can "relate." You write my story, Lord. Forgive me for trying to be the editor-in-chief. You have in store the perfect ending.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)