Unscripted

Tonight we pulled out the red and green rubbermaids of ornaments and figurines, tangles of lights and the taped-up box of tree parts to begin decorating our home for Christmas. At momentous occasions such as decorating your home for Christmas, I have in my mind an image of the way it ought to go, down to the minute details. Instrumental music is softly playing, children are transfixed by each ornament as it emerges from the box. All clutter is promptly put away afterwards, allowing for tea and cookies and the first reading of the Christmas story before the luminescent tree. The collide of my expectations with reality has often been a jarringly unpleasant experience. Why is the football game on? Is that the only Christmas music on XM radio? Do the kids realize that they are clustering all of the ornaments on one section of the tree? What if that bulb breaks - here, give me that!!? Stop fighting over that rubber Santa! Do we really need to put out the homemade styrofoam and paper heart from last year?
I have become the flustered director, who has a copy of everyone else's lines and roles, yet with no one else interested in reading or following their part. Nothing is quite right. Nobody can get it right. My tension easily becomes a contaminant on the whole scenario. I'm working on tuning in to my inner drill sargeant at such moments, and rather than coercing my structure on a scenario, am seeking to let real life unfold.
I had a prime opportunity to practice this, when Ben unearthed the board book versions of the Christmas story built into the padded Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus figures amidst the tangle of boxes and wanted to sit down and read the story together. My first thought was, wait until we have the tree and mantle finished, the boxes stored away, daddy done with the outside lighting and the other two getting to hear it too...But the eagerness in his face was too much to lay aside. I purposely stepped from behind the camera lens, out of the director chair and into the moment. There we sat on the dining room floor, as it was the only uncluttered floor space, reading the board book and me being talking Mary and he talking Joseph.
So what if life doesn't unfold according to my script - even if it did, the "characters" in my life would be acting; not authentically being.
Unscripted life is the greater adventure.
Still, easier said than done.