I had the privelege of having a veteran minister's wife share with me during our California visit. She too remembers feeling fragmented by all the urgent needs and demands upon her, many of which she had imposed upon her self. At a low point, she asked God to show her the simpler, more life giving way. She wanted to apply her strength and focus to the truly necessary things.
"God showed me three crucial arenas. First, and foremost, I was to please God, as His child. Secondly, I was to please my husband, as his wife. And third, to minister to the needs of my children, as their mother." She went on, "When I felt the pressures of what others expected from me, I would say, Lord, that's for You to take on. That is not for me."
I've been reflecting upon her words. I sometimes feel like a pinball in a pinball machine, ricocheting about as I seek to hit all the flashing lights. I want to live out of the center of who I am as His child. Whole, and centered in Him. Real. Available but not frantic.
I am grateful for the witness of those who have gone before.
2 comments:
I love that desire of being "available but not frantic." It is the longing of my soul, too. Much of my frantic activity is undergirded with a desperate hope to be available. But your words are a comforting reminder that being available isn't DOING something; it's BEING. It's an attitude and a willingness that can be there in the midst of wiping spilled orange juice, dirty bottoms, or the dust on a shelf. Thanks for the reminder to focus my heart, not my activity, and let go of the angst.
An older woman who is a mentor in my life just gave me a devotional on Zephaniah 3:17, which was Abby's life verse and is quickly becoming mine. This struck me:
"There are so many voices in the shallow places where everyone lives," I complained.
"That's why you need to come here more often," He replied..."You need to live here and visit the shallow places instead of living in the shallow places and visiting here!"
The devotional goes on to talk about how "Love is quietness...Stay long enough to gather a soul full of quietness to bless your noisy world!"
This is my prayer, but it requires giving up some more of that precious time that I think I need for so many other things. And yet that was a big part of Abby's secret. She spent a lot of time in the quietness, and somehow around her, all the shallowness just fell away. Let's go to the quiet place where He rejoices and sings over us.
I finally wrote in my own blog today. Hope you read it. Love you.
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