Words from a Friend's Heart

My friend Maggie sent me this uplifting email, and I got her permission to post it here:

"I've been thinking a lot about you and your blog and your struggle with comparing yourself to others. I can identify with that in many areas. It's so easy to feel you have to live up to whatever anyone else is capable of. We've got to remember, though, that we rarely know all that's going on in the lives of those other moms, and we also forget to take into account their gifting (type "A," gift of administration, etc.) and situation in life (older children who can help with maintaining order, for example, instead of creating chaos). For example, it's easy for me to read a homeschooling mom's blog and see that she homeschools eight kids, maintains a fabulous blog, sings in her church choir, and runs a soup kitchen on the side. What I don't see is the grime in the corners of her house, the often late bedtimes of her children, her tendency to yell when stressed, and the way she looks every day (which looks nothing like the picture she posted on her blog, which includes makeup, styled hair, and a thinner face). I know this because I've done it myself. My blog is a carefully constructed pieced together view of the "me" I want to be, not necessarily the "me" I am day in and day out. Sometimes it makes me want to keep hiding the real me...the me who struggles to overcome bad habits (far more than I realized I had before having children), stay focused on the Lord, and have a personal life (which so often feels like it's slipping away as a homeschooling mom). I can be all those things on my blog. I know that if I feel that way, LOTS and LOTS of blogging moms feel the same. So don't be too discouraged; most of those awesome moms are likely just like you and me...maybe even less impressive and less intimidating if we were to meet them and get to know them in real life. "

"To look at it from an entirely different angle, imagine with me for a moment that they all ARE as amazing and on top of life as they seem. Who cares? When I root my confidence in Christ it doesn't matter what THEY are doing, only whether I am doing what He's asked ME to do. I may be one of those people who is less gifted than others who seem capable of multi-tasking unimaginable amounts. For example: I have a wonderful friend who is GIFTED in administration. She has a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a new infant, an ER physician for a husband (with a complicated work schedule that changes all the time and sometimes includes night shifts), a hopping social life (includes involvement and outreach in her community as well as hosting events at her home), frequent traveling by plane to visit relatives and take vacations, a very deep and passionate love for the Lord...and she never forgets a birthday. In addition to that, she majored in BioChemistry and Intercultural Studies (double major), is a helicopter pilot, a phlebotomist, former Human Resources Director, always reads the news from several different sources online so she can get the "true" picture instead of a one-sided perspective of world affairs, Director of a program to train parents of severly disabled kids (so they'd be better equipped to meet their needs), has traveled all over the world to multiple countries, and has had dinner with Shaquille O'Neal and a group of his friends (and didn't even know he was a famous basketball player at the time). And to top it all off, she hacked a BLACK MOMBA (the deadliest snake in Africa) in half to protect the men on her team. "

"I am not kidding."

"So you can see I have even more reason to feel discouraged than you do. I can never, NEVER measure up to her. ...Mostly I can never measure up to her beautiful, God-loving spirit that gives generously and wisely all the time. I am so humbled to be her friend. "

"I also feel this way about YOU."

"So please don't ever let yourself sink into a slough of despond about this. I don't care WHAT your house looks like, how many activities you can juggle successfully, or whether you yell at your kids in weak moments. I need you in my life JUST AS YOU ARE and think you are one of the most beautiful friends God has given me. "

"God has made each of us exactly who He wants us to be, with intentional design that allows us to minster exactly where He puts us. Even the things we think would make us more effective and efficient might only get in the way of ministering to someone who needs us just as we are. I have been startled to find this true in my life as He minsters most richly to people through my ugliest, weakest parts.
You have been SO significant in my life in shaping me toward Christ. Don't let yourself believe the enemy's lies and talk you into a discouraged frame of mind. God is in charge of you, and He is constantly using you, even when you feel most useless and gross. I think that's a miraculous part of His genius plan to shine through us and get all the glory. "

This means a lot to me, and I hope it ministers to you as well. Let's let God use us as is.