Blooming Here. Living Now.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What about the Self?

My sister and I were talking today about the need for self-care and attentiveness to our inner needs in the midst of the demands of life. "But how can I tell if I'm becoming too self-absorbed or selfish?" she wondered aloud.
I thought of all the approaches I've heard and tried to absorb on the topic. The Bible says, Love your neighbor as you love yourself. They are equally important, and one is unable to love another while loathing oneself. Stated another way, one is able to love another only as well as they love themselves.
Christ calls us to denial of self: yet one must first know oneself, before choosing to deny it. As my husband says, Christ calls us to lay down our lives. We have to have a life, to give it up.
Having a sense of self is key to living an authentic life. It involves knowing who I am, as a treasured child of God, a woman, a wife and mother, a learner, a creator ect., and knowing who I am not. It's having a sense of what I am uniquely called to, and just as important, what I am not called to. This helps with discerning what is "mine" to absorb, and being relieved of what is not.
Ironically, when I lack a sense of who I am, I am actually driven further from selflessness, as everything becomes about me. Unable to differentiate my issues from another's: I either deny that I have issues at all, or I think it's all about me.
I purpose to shamelessly pursue inner understanding and discovery of the woman God has created me to be. I desire to be attentive to my inner needs, gracious towards myself when I falter, and triumphant when I advance - to treat myself as I would a dear friend. Reaching out would then be less about filling an inner need, and more of a natural extension of the grace of God I've experienced within.

2 comments:

Caroline Starr Rose said...

What a lovely way to start my day! Thanks for this, Julia.

Kathy Huff said...

I loved your final conclusion. And,Yes, we need to take time to know ourselves in solitude--quite a challenge for mothers. Knowing our giftings and callings helps to discern what our pursuits should be. Goal setting and planning help us to focus and avoid time wasters that eat up precious energy.