The 4 M's

Martyrdom, Managing, Manipulating and Mothering.
These are the 4 M's, as listed in the al-anon book, Hope for Today, which I was reading. I can see some of each of these at work in me. They are ways of coping which can get out of hand.
The goal is to reclaim the healthy aspects of each one.
Martyrdom must simply be avoided. I can examine my motives in service, and make a choice to give and serve (or not to) out of love rather than obligation or resentment.
I am to work towards managing my own life, not the lives of others.
I need to stop trying to manipulate my husband and others.
I'm to mother my own children, yes, and nurture others, but to let their own mommas mother them.